They know we’re gay, and we live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, so we’re getting pressure to settle down. Our dilemma is how to deal with our increasingly nosy family and friends. I’m not writing to you to pass moral judgment on our relationship-we’re at peace and very happy. But we never fell out of love with each other, so after graduation we moved in together and have been living very discreetly as a monogamous couple ever since. We attended schools far apart and limited our contact to family holidays. We knew this could ruin our lives, so we made a pact to end it. We hoped it was “just a phase” that we’d grow out of, but we wound up sleeping together until we left for college. Of course we felt guilty and ashamed, and we didn’t dare tell anyone what we were doing. After a couple of years, we realized we had fallen in love. When we were 12 we gradually started experimenting sexually with each other. We were always extremely close and shared a bedroom growing up. My fraternal twin and I (both men) are in our late 30s.

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